Guidance for A Muslim Wife
By Shaykh Majaz Azami (r.a)
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1) Sayings of Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa sallam
2) Social Conduct
3) The Upbringing of Children
4) The Ettiquette of a Gathering
5) The Rights of the Parents
6) A New House, New Faces
7) The Method of Living Together
8) Experience and Organisation
9) Caring for the Children
10) Some Exemplary Incidents & Conclusion
SAYINGS OF RASULULLAH (SALLALLAHU ALAIHI WASALLAM)
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was extremely merciful upon the ummah. He said ’’You all are about to fall into the fire and I am holding your backs and preventing you from falling into it”. Rasulullah’s Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam favour upon the ummat was that he showed men and women the way to lead their lives. Here are a few Ahaadith advising women:
HADEETH 1. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that the woman who performed her five daily prayers and kept the fast of Ramadan and protected herself from evil acts i.e. adultery and obeyed her husband, has a choice to enter heaven from whichever door she pleases.(HULYA)
HADEETH 2. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “A woman has two veils: the first is the husband and the second is the grave. The one that conceals more is the grave.” (TABRANI)
HADEETH 3. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “A religious widow is addressed as a martyr in the heavens” i.e. she is remembered with the honourable title of a martyr in heaven for any act she performs.
HADEETH 4. Ibn Abbas Radhiallahu anhu narrates that a woman came to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and said: “I have come as a representative of all women. We want to present a petition to you. Jihaad is fardh (compulsory) on men and only they obtain the reward of martyrdom. We women are deprived of it although we take responsibility for all their domestic affairs”. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “Convey this message on my behalf to all the women that they can achieve the reward of jihaad by obeying their husbands, but very few women consider this to be a reward.”
HADEETH 5.It is reported from Hazrat Ibn Umar Radhiallahu Anhu that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that when a woman leaves her home without her husband’s consent then all the angels of the skies and the entire universe curse her for this act until she returns home. (TABRANI).
HADEETH 6.Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that the fragrance of heaven will be forbidden for a woman who asks her husband for divorce without any valid reason. (TIRMIZI)
HADEETH 7. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that if a woman died and her husband was pleased with her during her life, undoubtedly she has entered heaven.
HADEETH 8. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “O woman, your heaven and hell is your husband” (i.e. a woman will enter heaven if the husband is pleased, and hell if he is displeased with her). (TARGEEB)
HADEETH 9. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that the best woman is the one that pleases her husband.
When he looks at her, she pleases him. When he commands her, she obeys him. When he absents himself (goes away on a journey etc.) she protects his wealth and his honour. (BAIHAQI)
HADEETH 10. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that Shaytaan (the devil) sits on his throne daily and dispatches his agents to work among human beings. One of the agents returns and says that I made a certain person commit a sin, another says I got so and so involved in this offence. Upon listening to all this Shaytaan says that you have done nothing great. Eventually one representative comes and says that I saw a husband and wife extremely devoted to each other. I sowed the seeds of enmity between them. On hearing this Shaytaan becomes happy and embracing his agent says that you have achieved something great. (MISHKAT)
The love between husband and wife is the biggest blow to Shaytaan. From this it is apparent how meritorious this love is.
HADEETH 11. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: The woman who applies perfume and passes by men is an adulteress. (TIRMIZI).
Today the woman who applies perfume and goes to the shopping centres, alleys and cinemas should ponder how grave a sin she is committing.
HADEETH 12. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: Once I saw a ghair mahram (strange) man and a young woman together in a place. Consequently I had a strong fear that Shaytaan will make use of this opportunity i.e. he will besmirch their character and destroy the honour of the woman.
HADEETH 13. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: Keep yourselves away from strange women. One companion asked: “O Rasul of Allah, tell me, can the husband’s brother mix freely with his sister-in-law.” Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam replied : “He is like death for a woman.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
i.e. just as partaking of poison leads to death in this world, similarly the brother-in-law’s mixing with a woman is poison for their character and a cause of destruction of the life of the hereafter.
HADEETH 14. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “It is haram for the women of my Ummah to take a bath in the public baths”. (HAKIM)
i.e. women should keep away from places which are frequented by ghair mahram (strange) males. What purpose do they have in a place frequented by males?
HADEETH 15. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: Whichever woman applies scent should not join us for the Esha prayers. (ABU DA WOOD)
During the early Islamic era, women used to perform salaat behind Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam in congregation. On that occasion Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “Those women who apply perfume should not come to the musjid for salaat,” because there is a fear of instilling desire in the hearts of men due to the sweet fragrance of the perfume and this will be a cause of corruption. If Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam prevented women who applied perfume from attending the musjid during his noble era, there will be a greater need for precaution in this age of corruption.
Maarif ul Quran English Tafseer
HADEETH 16.Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “The woman who boastfully parades in front of males after adorning herself is like the darkness of Qiyamat.”
HADEETH 17. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “A woman whose 3 children die in infancy or before reaching the age of puberty and who bears the loss with patience, hoping for reward will most certainly enter heaven. (MISHKAT)
Therefore if we are confronted with such a calamity, we should have patience and forbearance. To wail and mourn is not the habit of a Muslim wife. It (the child) was the property of Allah which He took back. However, it is not sinful to shed tears.
HADEETH 18. Nabi Kareem Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: ’’The best women of my ummah are those that are beautiful and whose dowry is less”. (Dailami)
What wisdom is there in unnecessarily burdening the husband with an extravagant dowry especially if he cannot afford it? The success of the marriage is the mutual love of the partners which cannot be purchased by wealth.
HADEETH 19. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: Whoever consoled a woman that lost her child will be given the clothes of Paradise to wear. (MISHKAT)
i.e. when you go to offer your condolences to a woman who lost her child, do not join her in wailing and crying. On the contrary, speak to her in such a manner so as to induce patience in her. Allah has promised a person who does this the garments of Jannah.
HADEETH 20. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that Allah Subhanahu Taala says ’’Sight is a poisonous arrow of the devil. Whosoever, whether male or female protects himself or herself from evil glances will be granted a sweet Iman (faith) which will please his/her heart.” (TABRANI)
The disease of glancing at men without regarding it as sinful is common among women. This can occur even though they (the woman) may be fully concealed. The arrow of Shaytaan works discreetly.
HADEETH 21. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: “The worst person on the day of Qiyamah will be the one who reveals the private life of his wife to others.” (Muslim)
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